Nobody taught me how to tell the difference between a pattern that was helping me and one that was quietly running me. So I kept repeating what I'd never questioned.
It took years of work — reflection on personal experience through therapy, free courses, reading, and volunteering with a domestic abuse charity, as well as working in an industry with one of the highest suicide rates in the UK — before I was in any position to help other men with similar issues. No two problems are ever quite the same, and I don't want to suggest otherwise. No one problem is any less significant than another — what matters is the change. Change work is an ongoing process, and we can all learn from one another. This is the map I wish I'd had as a younger person.